Putu the Cat

Fear me, if you dare. Meow.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Putu's IWE XI

In tribute to the Indian XI for winning a Test (Putu's stopped watching, but is clapping enthusiastically anyway) here is the team Putu will send in as soon as Dalmiya decides how much money he's willing to pay this feline SuperSelector.
In batting order:

1. VS Naipaul: While dogged by controversy and demands for retirement, this swashbuckling batsman, while undoubtedly past his prime, remains a bankable opener. Though not one of Putu's personal favourite, a smart cat knows who's in with the board, and gets paid that much extra for not questioning hierarchies
2. Vikram Seth: One of Putu's favourite batsmen, both for his incomparably elegant style and his ability to stick in there under pressure and notch up really impressive triple centuries. A natural top-order batsman.
3. Salman Rushdie: Style over substance, say some. Substance abuse, say others. But on his day, an aggressive, innovative matchwinner, and probably the most popular batsma in the country. Though excessive attention to celebrity endorsements remains a problem. Rumours that his selection has been influenced by his wife's decision to keep the manager as a pet are wholly unfounded.
4. Hari Kunzru: Another media favourite, this promising middle-order bat and medium-pacer brings a cool, collected mind, a mean leg-cutter and an incredible hunger for runs with him every time he comes to the crease. Combines the ability to pick quick, steady singles and hit the occasional loose ball out of the ground when batting, and usually picks up a couple of wickets as well. Though young and relatively untested, he could be India's all-rounder of the future. Questions about his eligibility (the Indianness of his origin is somewhat questionable) are usually started by jealous rival teams
5. Amitav Ghosh: Would have made it as a specialist wicketkeeper, but it helps that he is also arguably the teams best batsman. his dogged refusal to seek the spotlight is possibly the only reason for his place in the middle order. COnsistently rescues the team from tight situations, and is the rock on which the whole team stands. His recent appointment as Captain was met with universal approval, except, it is rumoured, among some of the more senior players in the dressingroom.
6. Jhumpa Lahiri: Young and scarily talented, she's building up an immense reputation, and you will find a queue of endorsement seekers and autograph seekers at her door every day. Immensely cool and composed test batsman, and rumoured to be the captain of the future.
7. Arundhati Roy: Lethal strike bowler, capable of generating genuine pace. OFten in trouble with umpires because of her habit of breathing fire both on and off the pitch, but her fearsome ability to intimidate and outwit batsman makes her an automatic choice for any team. Also a brilliant finisher with the bat in the one-day game, though she has a distressing tendency to hit four sixes in succession and then give the bowler a simple return catch.
8. Amit Chaudhuri: Useful medium pacer, slow but determined lower-order bat. Has the ability to bowl the same line relentlessly, frustrating batsman to tears and leading them to throw their wickets away.
9. Ashok K Banker: A somewhat controversial choice, but made the team for his scary ability to generate spin. A handy bat, too, and often indispensible in the slog overs, though prone to silly run-outs.
10. Shobha(aa?) De: Roy's strike partner, and almost as deadly. Displayed sizzling pace and an incredible ability to swin the ball both ways in her earlier years, and while she's adopted a more conservative, less flamboyant style now, the middle stumps just keep falling.
11. Chitra Banerjee Divakarni: Gifted leg-spinner, generates a great amount of both turn and bounce, and is never scared to give the ball a great deal of flight. Gets hit around the park occasionally, but never fails to entertain.


Blogger Jabberwock said...

Very nice, though the perverse side of me wants to see this lot pad up and play actual cricket against a ferocious professional side. And glad to see you got your claws in L-o-o-r-r-dd Vidia...

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am a huge fan of Putu's talents. Wish I had more time to participate (even silently) on this blog.
Must admit that I'm a little disappointed to find that Shobha De found even a mention here!!!

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Putu doesn't respond to comments often...?

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